mary

My adored beloved

In Dream, Love on September 4, 2011 at 7:22 pm

My beloved,I do not want to write a poem here,i do not want to write any more poems.There is really no poetry in life so it is all so far what I want to give You.In the future I do not believe.I believed in something what is not here any more.I want to be brave and look into a life no matter what is means.I have never thought that we could lose ourself in translations.I know we are not lost.Never.It is imposible for that what we had.

Someone here would be very glad to know all that but I do not mind that any more.It was what it meant to be,nothing less,nothing more.I am sorry for all words especially thoese unspoken.But You know me as much as I know You.The game we played was beautiful untill last part but how did old Willy said:

We are all actors…..and life is a stage.I know I am parafrasing it,my memory doesn’t work any more and I do not care.It was all what could only be,a dream.Willy has one play,I did forgot the title,the Summer night dream..ha ha ha..I can imagine how would be to be an actor.I could never be an actor.I could play some games,I could even dance but I could never preform that I am something I am not or play with being in love.I wold never be on Your place..i am too honest and too proud for this.I am,but yes,I am still so proud of my love towards Thee..I am proud to be different in this world where everything is about a game.How can anyone call that a game?Really just a simple,plaine game?I do not believe,I do not want to believe.I am tired but still awake,I am still waiting.It is not my first time,You knew that I would wait like an ancient woman.I believe in loyalty..I do not write a word corectly,I don’t mind that either.I have to be calm to be able to write without mistackes but now I am not calm.I am little sick when I remember all what was said between us.

No,I had never played with anybody in life.Even Cristina knew that.I do not know how long I am going to write this here,maybe it would be better if I start writing about some poems here.I told You before,I found here some really good writings.It was better when I was doing that what I know the best.You didn’t have to be jalouse of any of here,I just love to read and write about poems.Yes,I do miss my work,what is someoone without it’s work.Because of You I left many of them without a word,that was not nice.You will be suprice when You come home.I took liberty to translate some of writings from here,well at least I am starting to live again.Yes,without You.I am going back to be what I always was,just one reader here.Nothing more.I will learn myself how to breath again.I will.I have to.I will never ever come close noone.You took me opportunity to choose by myself.Hope was empty word.There is no hope in my side of story.

I wish You all the best in life.Be careful next time.I love You,I will always love You,I promiced You,until my last breath.

Eternally Yours,Sparrow

 

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